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02/04/2002 Entry: "Inertia"
Sometimes we begin projects with such energy, such inspiration that we're unstoppable. We work for hours without rest, no checking e-mail, no eating, just working. We're fueled by a narrow vision of exactly what we want to do, and there's not a thing to stop us.
It's consuming, it's driving, and sometimes, it's so completely wrong.
After having a new site live for less than 6 hours, I realized that everything I had wanted to do was in fact pushed by that initial drive, and that I had spent very little time in actually evaluating what it was that I was doing.
There's amazing strength in positivity, it gets you through things. I generally find negativitiy a weak response, the sort of response one has from reacting to life rather than living it. Reading about the Bad Brains, about PMA (positive mental attitude) affirmed that belief. But, in my hurry I forgot about positivity, I forgot that being cynical is not to be admired, it's nothing special to be that way despite the high value some people place on it.
So, everything needs to be done again.
While the changes might appear minor on the outside, the feeling behind them is going to change. Attacking people/things is hurtful to them, and to me. What I'm writing about (skateboarding) needs to be honestly critiqued, people/companies need to be held accountable for their actions, and that is true whether those critiques are met with criticism or praise.
It's new again, I'm excited, I believe in it and know good things will come.
This all came about due to some much needed perspective from Charlene, without whom I'd still be floundering around in uneasiness and diminishing self-confidence. Thank you.